There are moments when anxiety or overwhelm seems to take over. Your thoughts speed up, your body feels tense, and suddenly everything feels urgent.

You might find yourself trying to solve five problems at once, replaying a conversation, or worrying about what might happen next.

In those moments, I like to come back to three simple steps:

Notice, Name, Soften.

Notice.

First, pause and observe what’s happening without judging it or trying to fix it. My thoughts are racing. My shoulders are tight. I feel an urge to figure everything out right now. Notice what your mind and body are doing. You’re simply creating a little space between yourself and the emotional wave.

Name.

Next, put words to what you’re experiencing. I’m anxious. I’m overwhelmed. I’m feeling pressured. I’m worried I won’t be able to handle everything. Naming an emotion can make it feel more understandable and less like one big, overwhelming experience. You’re not making the feeling bigger—you’re identifying what’s already there.

Soften.

This is the “what do I do now?” step. Once you know what you’re feeling, ask yourself: What would help me come down a notch? You might slow your breathing, unclench your jaw, drop your shoulders, put your feet firmly on the floor, step away from your phone, take a short walk, or give yourself a few quiet minutes.

And sometimes the most helpful thing is a compassionate reminder: “This feels like a lot right now. I don’t have to solve everything at once.”

The goal isn’t to go from intense anxiety to perfectly calm. Sometimes softening simply means turning the volume down enough that you can think a little more clearly and choose what you need next.

Notice what’s happening. Name what you’re feeling. Soften the moment.

You don’t always have to fix the feeling. Sometimes you just need to help yourself feel a little safer while you move through it.